Unsatisfied (A-Z Day 21)

A-Z Day 21

Unsatisfied

Unsatisfaction can be a powerful motivator.

But it can also be a source of malaise.

The difference is in our response to the situation.

The 2012 mountain bike racing season was enjoyable, but unsatisfying. Nothing came together exactly as I had hoped. I never felt like I was operating at 100% capacity. Nagging things—mechanical problems, missed turns, sickness—seemed ever-present. Even my ‘clean’* races weren’t really trouble-free. If my bike wasn’t acting up, then my body was. Heavy legs, bonks, and general fatigue lingered overhead like a dark cloud.

*No, not that kind of clean. I mean, clean, as in no major problems.

Why? I have my theories.

I might have been undertrained.

Or I may have been overtrained.

Or perhaps I just mistimed my training.

Saturday, at the Race USCS Fall Classic 50—well-rested, well-trained (I thought), and motivated—I bonked. I rode backwards through the field over the last 10 miles, wondering what had just happened. Wondering if there isn’t something more sinister at work, like some mystery sickness, chronic fatigue, or microbial alien invasion wreaking havoc on my fitness. Probably not.

And so, I am left trying to find out what went wrong so I can fix the problem. 2013 is not so far off.

In the meantime, I am hoping that I can scrape some redemption out of the cyclocross season.

More bike racing never hurts. And who knows? Maybe 60 minute races at full-effort will purge the demons from my mind and body.