I’m a Vegan Now
“How do you know when a vegan is in the room?”
“They’ll let you know.”
And right now, this is me, letting you know.
That I’m a vegan.
For now, anyway.
Because “being vegan just makes you better than most people.”*
And unlike my post on April Fools Day, this is not a joke. I really am going vegan, but only for 30 days. (April Fools is over, but I feel like the jokes on me!) The real reason? Because the lone vegan at work—who puts up with a lot of good-natured teasing—challenged me to 30 days of veganism. Or is it veganistic? Veganic? And is it vegan, or Vegan?
30 days is a long time. An especially long time to live on nuts and fruits and fake meat. Which brings up a question:
Which is more natural? Meat. Or the meat-stuff that vegans eat that comes from soy and vegetables and… other things, and then made to taste like meat? Really, is there anything more natural than killing an animal for food? If not for food—and clothing, and all sorts of other things—then what exactly is a cow for? They can’t fetch your slippers. They don’t bark at intruders. They won’t play dead or roll over either. They just eat. And then they die, and we eat them. Smothered in bar-b-que sauce.
So, yeah. Vegan. 30 days. I’m already hungry.
Oh, and if you happen to notice something different about me, it’s just the aura of Light and Truth that naturally accompanies the moral superiority inherent in veganism. I can already feel vegan powers starting to fill my body with righteous indignation—and vegetable based protein.
*If you have not watched Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, do so now. Excellent movie.
BobApril 4, 2011
I won’t be impressed unless you say that you are prepping your own meals.
ericApril 4, 2011
the good news is you will probably lose a lot of weight. the bad news? it won’t taste very good.
oh, and if scott mcdougall is correct in Born to Run, any cancerous tumors you have removed over the next 30 days will have a 300% less chance of reconstituting inside your body. so there’s that.
slowerthensnotApril 4, 2011
Jeff HighamApril 4, 2011
I hope you weren’t planning on replacing that saddle with a leather-bound one…
rabidrunnerApril 4, 2011
1) Do you plan to go vegan in your clothing as well? As in no leather and fur and whatnot?
2) Can you eat honey? I had a vegan tell me the other day that honey is off limits for serious vegans. Of course I turned it into a “nobody dies when you eat honey same with milk” argument. Mostly ’cause I’m the arguing type and argue for entertainment. They responded with a “Vegan(ism) is more about humans existing on our own,” etc. In the which I started a “what does existing on our own mean” argument. Seriously… we’ve totally evolved past that existing on our own crap. We humans are pansies who train for endurance activities in lieu of learning survival skills.
Grizzly AdamApril 4, 2011
1) No. Way too much trouble. And impossible.
2) Not giving up honey. Apparently honey is a “gray area”. I am also not going to give up the gels that I eat while racing/training. Since this is more for fun (?), and not really part of some moral crusade, I’m not going to split hairs.
markApril 4, 2011
Vegan and Mormon–I can’t think of a combination more self-righteous than that unless you were also to take up road racing.
Grizzly AdamApril 4, 2011
Yeah. I’ve got the soapbox market pretty well cornered right now. Oh. I also ride a 29er.
mtb wApril 4, 2011
Add SS to that and you have a got a trifect (plus two).
RonaldoApril 4, 2011
YES! Congrats man… It’s the best decision in the world. Save the animals and the world is good, but remember: Keep your body healthy (it’s the number one). Soon you will understand this =)
UtRiderApril 4, 2011
I give you 10 days before you pull the plug. If you believe in it sure, I can see how you’d make it work. But doing it just to do it? No way.
But if you make it through the full 30 days I’ll buy you lunch at Sage’s Cafe.
Tom PurvisApril 4, 2011
I’m not a vegetarian, but I eat lots of my meals with one, so I wind up rolling that way quite often these days. Some advice:
Stay away from the fake meat. The stuff that’s made by processing soy to make it mimic the texture of meat is worse for you than saturated fat. My body doesn’t like soy anyway, but the stuff that has been chemically altered (Textured Vegetable Protein or TVP) is what converts to veg life often rely on. Don’t do it.
Without the eggs and dairy, your best veg protein sources are pretty much legumes and tree nuts. Beans (legume) and brown rice are a good solid meal that make a complete protein together. I prefer anasazis.
Lentils (legume). Peanuts and peanut butter (peanuts are legume, not nuts!). Walnuts are super good for you. I eat them mixed in with steel cut oats and medjool dates for breakfast.
Erica TApril 4, 2011
Check out the book Thrive, it’s for athletes that are vegan. (http://www.brendanbrazier.com/book/index.html). I read it, was convinced, got too hungry and gave up. But there are a few yummy recipes in there.
As far as fake meat, I actually like the taste most of it, but don’t touch it anymore. They are so highly processed that it scares me. Stick with the “whole foods” for your proteins.
Will you try Paleo for 30 days after 30 days of vegan? There are many more athletes that are Paleo than Vegan. I think there is something to this.
Grizzly AdamApril 4, 2011
I’ve tried paleo. I think I’d rather give up meat than grains. I felt like a caveman – always hunting for food.
Erica TApril 5, 2011
Grizzly AdamApril 5, 2011
what i like about the paleo diet, and veganism, is the emphasis on whole foods. More fruits, more veggies, more lean meats (well, not in veganism), and more whole grains. All of which can be readily consumed without the depravity and limitations of any ‘ism.
BobApril 6, 2011
What I like about watching others try Paleo, Vegan, Gluten free, is the cult like mentality, following, defense.
When real nutritionists and clinicians poo poo the ‘reported’ benefits.
bell curve time……
JesseApril 10, 2011
one more brat for me at FF/RAWROD
slowerthensnotApril 18, 2011
So hows it going with the no meat, milk, eggs dealo?