“How do you know when a vegan is in the room?”
“They’ll let you know.”
And right now, this is me, letting you know.
That I’m a vegan.
For now, anyway.
Because “being vegan just makes you better than most people.”*
And unlike my post on April Fools Day, this is not a joke. I really am going vegan, but only for 30 days. (April Fools is over, but I feel like the jokes on me!) The real reason? Because the lone vegan at work—who puts up with a lot of good-natured teasing—challenged me to 30 days of veganism. Or is it veganistic? Veganic? And is it vegan, or Vegan?
30 days is a long time. An especially long time to live on nuts and fruits and fake meat. Which brings up a question:
Which is more natural? Meat. Or the meat-stuff that vegans eat that comes from soy and vegetables and… other things, and then made to taste like meat? Really, is there anything more natural than killing an animal for food? If not for food—and clothing, and all sorts of other things—then what exactly is a cow for? They can’t fetch your slippers. They don’t bark at intruders. They won’t play dead or roll over either. They just eat. And then they die, and we eat them. Smothered in bar-b-que sauce.
So, yeah. Vegan. 30 days. I’m already hungry.
Oh, and if you happen to notice something different about me, it’s just the aura of Light and Truth that naturally accompanies the moral superiority inherent in veganism. I can already feel vegan powers starting to fill my body with righteous indignation—and vegetable based protein.
*If you have not watched Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, do so now. Excellent movie.