To Teach and Preach

Posted by on May 18, 2010 in Bike | 6 Comments

I shamelessly ripped this photo from the BikeSnobNYC. (via Cyclelicious) It’s worth analyzing closely:

mormon bike

Note the toe clips. Are those standard fixie fare? Also the helmet, hanging uselessly, but stylishly off the Elder’s scripture laden backpack, is a nice touch. As is the Livestrong wristband. Nothing says “real cyclist” like one of those. He’s texting. Probably his girlfriend back home. She’s just let him know that she’s engaged… to his former companion, whom he insisted look her up at the Y. He’s got his pants rolled up on the drive-side, which I suppose is better than those missionaries I’ve seen with both sides rolled up. But really, aren’t there any 3/4—chamois equipped—suit pants available at some high-end hipster store? Or even some Chrome knickers? (I have a pair that I’d wear to church if my wife would let me) Someone send this man some Twin Six socks and a Jesus Rides T (No, seriously…).

It’s also notable that in the background, mostly obscured, is his companion… equally and identically as hip. I wonder, did these guys rent these bikes for the day? Or are they their normal mode of transportation? I’m leaning toward rentals. But only because the bikes I rode in Canada (which explains everything, perhaps) were utter garbage. But with no brakes, an openly flippant disregard for their own braincases, and the ability to text on the go (while pedaling!) this companionship is either showing off mad urban skillz, or are simply the biggest poseurs in the field. I’ll let you be the judge.

However, we ought not be so hard on them. After all, it is entirely impossible to look good on a bike—any bike—as a Mormon missionary.

Trust me. I know:

lds missionary


  1. MOCougFan
    May 18, 2010

    I first learned to LOVE riding on my mission. Spokane Washington. Spent more time on the bike on PDays than off of it. But no… it’s hard to look cool on it.

  2. Richard Masoner
    May 18, 2010

    Heh heh, self portrait FTW!

    Thanks for the link love. These kids told me they build the bikes up themselves after arriving in San Jose. They saw the fixed gear bikes in the area and decided they *had* to have them.

  3. Lozy
    May 18, 2010

    If those guys, with a female companion, could deliver there speech with track standing and hand me a book of Mormon…hell I might listen to them lol!

    Side note I get a lot of funny shirt when I wear my Jesus rides shirt here in Cedar and my Church of the Big Ring shirt.


  4. mark
    May 18, 2010

    The missionaries need to get vinyl stickers that say “all you gentiles suck my balls” on their deep v rims.

    • Grizzly Adam
      May 18, 2010

      This may warrant some context: Clicky

  5. Kendra
    May 18, 2010

    Wow this picture is really going around. I saw it being directed from Miles blog to where is where it originally started. There are a few pictures there, but the pictures showing faces have been taken down by request of the Elders. I like the bikes, they make riding a fixie not look so painful.

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