To Teach and Preach
by Grizzly Adam
Note the toe clips. Are those standard fixie fare? Also the helmet, hanging uselessly, but stylishly off the Elder’s scripture laden backpack, is a nice touch. As is the Livestrong wristband. Nothing says “real cyclist” like one of those. He’s texting. Probably his girlfriend back home. She’s just let him know that she’s engaged… to his former companion, whom he insisted look her up at the Y. He’s got his pants rolled up on the drive-side, which I suppose is better than those missionaries I’ve seen with both sides rolled up. But really, aren’t there any 3/4—chamois equipped—suit pants available at some high-end hipster store? Or even some Chrome knickers? (I have a pair that I’d wear to church if my wife would let me) Someone send this man some Twin Six socks and a Jesus Rides T (No, seriously…).
It’s also notable that in the background, mostly obscured, is his companion… equally and identically as hip. I wonder, did these guys rent these bikes for the day? Or are they their normal mode of transportation? I’m leaning toward rentals. But only because the bikes I rode in Canada (which explains everything, perhaps) were utter garbage. But with no brakes, an openly flippant disregard for their own braincases, and the ability to text on the go (while pedaling!) this companionship is either showing off mad urban skillz, or are simply the biggest poseurs in the field. I’ll let you be the judge.
However, we ought not be so hard on them. After all, it is entirely impossible to look good on a bike—any bike—as a Mormon missionary.
Trust me. I know:
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