Keep it Classy

Posted by on Jul 21, 2009 in Bike, Wasatch | 10 Comments

aaronhorseflat1webHorse Flat

It’s not uncommon for one incident to ruin an entire day. A bad meal, a conflict at work, an argument with your spouse. And so on. Similarly, an otherwise solid ride can often be ruined, or at the very least, severely jeopardized by one unfortunate happening. A flat tire, a broken chain, a crash, or, as was the case last night on the Timpooneke trail, a wildly unattractive couple, doing…uh…well…er… um.

I think you get the point.

However, once the image that was so damagingly seared into my brain started to fade, and the blood stopped pouring out of my eyes, I was able to rather enjoy* the evening up American Fork Canyon. Aaron and I took the road less traveled, and considering our earlier encounter we had good reason to do just that. The rewards for doing so were very few other mountain bikers, some serene mountain meadows, and grin inducing singletrack that I had not ridden in years. I always seem to forget just how fantastic Horse Flat is. Wide, open meadows sitting quietly in the shadow of Timpanogos (and the U.F.O Bowls, must ski those next year) surrounded by thick, dark aspen forests. It is a small gem, just off the well trodden path that few others make the effort to ride.

And yet, despite our good fortune, and good singletrack, our innocent minds were continually clouded with that image…that unbearable, unexpected, profoundly shameless display of copulatory coition of carnal exhibitionism. As I rode on by, the only word I could muster, which was met with snorts and laughter by the frolicking mass was, “classy”.

I do not think I will ever be the same. And I will, forevermore be wary of that once enjoyable stretch of singletrack on the Timpooneke trail.

*clearly, we were not the only ones.


  1. KC
    July 21, 2009

    Been there, seen that at the top of Dragon’s Back on the big metal box. Chris’ response was get a room. The image will fade with time. It just takes a while.

  2. goreedgo
    July 21, 2009

    Another reason I’ve always wanted to carry a little paintball gun with me when I ride.

  3. KanyonKris
    July 21, 2009

    Ay caramba! They were doing it right by the side of the trail?! And they only laughed as you rode by?!

    Forget motos tearing up the AF trails, this is a MUCH worse threat!

  4. Bob
    July 21, 2009

    So, I expect it woulda been different if they were WILDY ATTRACTIVE, I hope they had bug spray, those biting flies are bad this year

  5. Grizzly Adam
    July 21, 2009

    Bob, I think it would have been equally as disturbing.

  6. Rick S
    July 21, 2009

    wow. I keep thinking of the movie Deliverance

  7. Grizzly Adam
    July 21, 2009

    This ought to put to rest the question of why Timpooneke is pronounced Timpanookie.

  8. bradk
    July 21, 2009

    You’re so lucky. That kind of thing never happens to me.

  9. Corey
    July 21, 2009

    We are NOT unattractive…


  10. Greg
    July 27, 2009

    nast man… glad to hear you somehow managed to still have an enjoyable ride

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