“You don’t have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things – to compete. You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated.”
I can feel the restful, relative ease of the summer of 2008 draining out of my mind and body. Like a low level toxin it is running its course. I have for nearly a year been unmotivated to compete, needing of rest, apart from the intense focus of competition.
But there is change in the air.
And yet, I realize that the hot days and starting lines of 2009 are a distant possibility. That between now and then is a long winter of self motivation and cold days. And even before then an autumn of trails and blustery days, and colorful trees and that thin, crisp, incredible air.
I can feel that primal need to compete reemerging from its dormant sabbatical. I long for the urgency and panic that comes from always looking over your shoulder, terrified a rider on the horizon will appear, charging and stampeding.
I want to race.
And although I have lined up a few times this year, it has never been with that quiet focus of chasing victory. The soft layer around my mid section speaks testament to that fact.
And so I look forward with a vision of a leaner, faster self. A delusional and yet still possibly prophetic scene of riding beyond any realization of the past, beyond any fantasy and day dream of the future
A vision of being honestly and undeniably fast.
24 Hours of Moab, 2002