Empty. That is all I feel right now. And it is not the empty of having spent all your energy and strength. All was going well until about 6 hours into the race. I sat down in the pits feeling “not quite right” and I didn’t get up again. Physically I was fine. Mentally, I was toast. For the first time in my life, racing was pointless. It hurts just to write those words.
I am going to take a little time off, to get my mind and body rested and regrouped. I will be back with a smile on my face and fire in the legs for the E50.
The day was not a total loss. I got to meet a lot of great people that I have had contact with through this blog. I shared pit areas with Chris Plesko. He rode an impressive race on his singlespeed, and his wife Marni pulled double duty in the pits for the both of us. Thanks! The racing went on without me, and it unfolded into a classic with Dave Harris dropping the hammer on the field late in the day, finishing with a record 14 laps. Lynda scorched the race putting in 13 laps to finish 4th overall, and 1st in the Women’s solo. My training/riding pals Chris Holley and his wife K.C. took the Duo field, putting in 14 impressive laps.
I am feeling pretty frustrated, disappointed, and embarrassed right now. There is nothing worse than watching the race go on and not be able to be a part of it. Well, I guess there is one thing worse. And that is watching the race going on, and having no good reason not to be a part of it…. Being mentally tough is something I have always prided myself on. Saturday I was the mental equivalent of a wet noodle. I went into a dark place that I had no clue how to get out of. It was a darkness I hope never to experience again.